Happy New Year Ya'll!!!

this has certainly been an eventful year!

It amazing to reflect back on it now and see how God has "moved us" physically, mentally, and spiritually. We are in good hands. When we let go and let God take control...amazing things will happen.

Wishing ya'll a Blessed 2010!

Doggone nutty

We have two enormous native pecan trees in our front yard and they are just beginning to release their fall crop so we got out this evening and gathered about 10 lbs of nuts from around one of the trees. Being native pecans, they are about the size of small marbles so it takes quite a few of them, and a lot of work, to gleem a small amount of shelled out pecans...well we were sitting out on the backporch enjoying a beautiful evening and watching the sun set, cracking and shelling pecans when we discovered that every time a bit or broken piece landed by our two Boston terriers they were inhaling them like candy...I never knew that dogs liked nuts...! They were going gaga over em!!!

We are all so very grateful for the bounty Lord!!!

Home Sweet Texas Home

We are now home. We are Texas residents! It has been a long road to get here and at times I have been overwhelmed by doubt. God is Good and He has blessed us so much!!!

We still do not have Internet yet so this update is from my Iphone. It will be short and sweet :). I just wanted to say Hi! And let everyone know that everything is working out great...

Life is good and we are Home Sweet Home in Comanche, Texas.

Let Go...and LET GOD

These words have new meaning for me now....last week I had all but given up all hope...I was trying hard not to be devestated by the continuous flow of "your were not selected" to the jobs that I had applied for...it was looking pretty grim

I had not heard back from the job with the Core...although I had called and talked to them numerous times...so they knew my name and knew I was still around...waiting...waiting...tying patiently to wait...2 and a half months passed...surely if they wanted to hire me they would have called by now? So I put that dream on the back burner, not yet ready to let it go because deep down in my heart it so felt like "THE ONE" so to have given up would have been giving up every hope and and every dream of ever making it back to Texas...if this was to be my destiny it was in the hands of God to make it happen...the way I was feeling last week I don't know if I would have ever completed another application...I was at the end of my hope and didn't know what else to do...so I asked God to please change my heart if living in Grand Forks was His will...I was a burden on my family by being so miserable here all the time...I couldn't endure myself much less continue like this and bring my family down too...I asked if it be God's will he would grant me the ability to love it here and make it my home...we even went out and purchased a swingset...something we have never done because we have not lived in a house long enough....Scott was midway through the project when I got the call from the Core...

The call that has changed the course of our lives forever...the call that has given us all new hope of a bright and joyful future....an answer to hope...which came right from the heart...the heart of God. We are so very blessed!

What a week!

I am still on cloud 9 after the past week...it has been truly AMAZING!!!

God is Cheering for Youby Max Lucado
If your God is Mighty enough to ignite the sun, could it be that He is mighty enough to light your path?
God is for you. Not “may be,” not “has been,” not “was,” not “would be,” but “God is!” He is for you. Today. At this hour. At this minute. As you read this sentence. No need to wait in line or come back tomorrow. He is with you. He could not be closer than he is at this second. His loyalty won’t increase if you are better nor lessen if you are worse. He is for you.
God is for you. Turn to the sidelines; that’s God cheering your run. Look past the finish line; that’s God applauding your steps. Listen for him in the bleachers, shouting your name. Too tired to continue? He’ll carry you. Too discouraged to fight? He’s picking you up. God is for you.
God is for you. Had he a calendar, your birthday would be circled. If he drove a car, your name would be on his bumper. If there’s a tree in heaven, he’s carved your name in the bark. We know he has a tattoo, and we know what it says. “I have written your name on my hand,” he declares (Isa. 49:16).

I still don't know where to begin without starting from the beginning of the story and telling how every step and every broken road has lead me to this new beginning...just where God wants me to be.

Quick synopsis: I applied months ago for a job at Lake Proctor, TX (deep in the HEART of TEXAS) small town, deep rooted community...very mayberry (once in a lifetime opportunity)

The same EXACT day that I got my hope crushed completely by a job that I didn't get in Austin I received a call for an interview for this job...the job I knew in my heart the moment I read the job description was "THE BIG ONE" the one that I couldn't possibly qualify for...had I not come to Grand Forks and spent the last two years here...as Administrative Support Assistant....to say it has all fallen into place would be such a massive understatement. The speed at which I am leaving is astonishing...God willing, I will be leaving Grand Forks on Independence weekend and my first day of work will be 6 July...my birthday...a good day for a new beginning...don't ya think?

My mind and heart have been just overflowing with dreams and hope now...Its a major whirlwind and sometimes I feel like I am going to float away! I can see so many happy memories being made in my head...and its all due to the awesome grace of God. I didn't think I could survive these past two years...somedays were just survival and I wondered if I would make it to the light...but God's grace got me through the darkness and now...now there is such JOY! I can't contain it all...I want to explode and my cup indeed runneth over. God is GOOD! All THANKS and PRAISE be to God!

Hold me Jesus

Well, sometimes my life Just don't make sense at all When the mountains look so big And my faith just seems so small

CHORUS: So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf You have been King of my glory Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark It's so hot inside my soul I swear there must be blisters on my heart

CHORUS

Surrender don't come natural to me I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want Than to take what You give that I need And I've beat my head against so many walls Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band Is playing this hymn And Your grace rings out so deep It makes my resistance seem so thin

CHORUS

You have been King of my glory Won't You be my Prince of Peace

All of me...or nothing at all

That is the type of person I am. I cannot live torn in half. You either get all or nothing with me...

So today I find myself torn in half, yet again...and wondering where the future goes from here...

When I met my husband I was about 2 months into the relationship before I found out that he had a wife and two children...I wish sometimes that when I found out I had not only gone the other way but had RUN the other way...

I met his children at the same time I met his parents...that alone should have told me something

Yet dispite our differences, I love him unconditionally

His "other" family is another story altogether...

Praying for the strength and the wisdom to endure the other family that wants nothing to do with us and yet still takes...piece by piece

I feel like a horrible monster for wanting a "normal" family life...but if someone does not want you in their life, how do you become a part of it? If you don't even matter how can you give all that you have to make them momentarily happy? When does the feeling of being ripped into pieces and scattered about stop hurting so much?

Wrestling with it

Yes, I am struggling with "this" and I am not sure what "this" may be...I not sure what I am facing or what exactly the whole point of struggling might accomplish...I am having an enormously tough time dealing with the situation and maybe I just need a strong dose of reality to bite me in the arse or someone to remind me that the world does not revolve around me....

I am trying hard to trust in the Lord with all my heart, have patience...and all that

I know I should

I am trying

One day and one step at a time...

Just keep going

Must keep going

Not exactly the answer I was hoping for...

Scott found out today that a company that has offered him a job here has scheduled him a flight to go to Oregon to meet the company president...and officialize the job. While it is a good thing that Scott has found employment so soon after retirement, we def could use the funds right now....but it also means more time here...how long remains undetermined. I have gotten nothinng but rejection notifications on the hundred job apps I have submitted all over the south...it is frustrating...depressing...and down right disheartening....I just want to go HOME

Well, I DID ask for an answer...and this is pretty much a signed, sealed and set in stone one...whether I like it or not

On top of that, I took time off today to come home and plant flowers...it had been sunny all morning...but as soon as I stepped outside it started to rain...I've been feeling a sore throat coming all morning so I didn't think planting flowers in the wind and rain would be beneficial so instead I have just been chillin at home...pretty much wasting the day away...and what do you know...here it is at 4 pm...and the sun returns

I feel like Verizon...:)

I have people :)...AND WHERE THERE IS PEOPLE PRAYING THERE IS POWER...That's what its all about...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

Simple words are not enough to express our gratitude for the multitude of prayers. Shelly made it through her surgery just fine and the doctors now believe she is CANCER FREE!!!

PRAISE GOD!!!

Please Pray

My cousin Shelly goes into surgery today for her second round of cancer. This time it is in her liver and they are monitoring two other spots elsewhere. Please keep her lifted high in prayer. My heart goes out to her, if you can afford to give to this fight, please do, Cancer sucks and no one should ever have to go through this.

My Aunt Angie(my Mom's baby sister) wrote this:

You know what should never happen....

You should never have to spend Mother's day in a hospital watching your daughter recover from the second surgery from cancer. It is bad enough to watch her body be scarred from numerous surgeries from a two year fight against breast cancer. That is bad enough. Then just when we think we are at the end of that fight and can finally see clear skies we get the other bombshell. Two days after she was told she was cancer free, the dr. called and said he needed to do more testing because there was a spot in the liver he needed to check out further. After several weeks of testing, here we are in another battle for her life. It is cancer. She will have surgery on Wednesday and will very likely still be in the hospital on Mother's Day.
I know some of you have stories much more traumatic and certainly more heroic than this one. This one just happens to hit home to me. I am asking for two things in this letter. One, the most important to me is prayer. I am trusting in God to give us strength once again to fight this battle and win. Second, I'm asking for donations for our cause. We are on a mission to stamp out cancer in this generation. We believe with more research we can accomplish this. Shelly and I will be walking the Susan G. Koeman 3-day walk in Dallas in November. We have to raise $2300.00 before we can walk in that race. My personal goal is $6000.00 All the money will go to research.
Now is an excellent time to donate. If you have someone you'd like to give in memory of or in honor of you can list their name on the website. Please give now so no more mothers will spend their honored day in hospitals with this deadly disease.
Please support me in the fight to end Breast Cancer. Just follow the link. Together we can hold each other up and make a difference in our world.


Love to all,
Angie

Bunny Droppings

Jaiden woke to find that the Easter Bunny had come while she slept and left her some "presents" scattered about the house. First she discovered her Easter basket had been filled with goodies...a new Dora video, a chocolate bunny, peeps, jelly beans, a golden "penny" and lots of little chocolate eggs! She turned around to discover that the Easter bunny had also planted colorful plastic eggs around the house, she found them in her room, in her shoes, on the stairs and in every nook and cranny. I think she had them all round up in just under 5 minutes....much better than at the Easter egg madascrable event that we attended yesterday...we waited in the line for what seemed like hours...they finally rang the cowbell...children 2-3 attacked the eggs like starved animals would a piece of bacon...but Jaiden didn't want to have anything to do with that craziness...she wanted to go HOME!

an hour later Jared had his chance when the 6-8 year olds got a turn so he captured a bag full of eggs and got 2 green and 1 pink ticket! Yay! two more long lines later he had another small bag of candy, an alien slime thingie, an a free kids meal coupon for the BLUE MOOSE...which means mom and dad will have to fork up the $50 to go eat there I suppose. Thanks businesses of Grand Forks...this "free" event was so impressive I think it will surely become a yearly tradition...NOT!

The day was just GORGEOUS...mid 50s and sunny! I spent the rest of the afternoon outside clearing out my flower beds which have finally come uncovered from all the snow...and discovered that there are TULIPS coming up on the south end of the house! Yay! So happy about that :) Also, the rose bushes that we picked up at the end of season clearance for a buck a piece at Menards seem to have survived as well! Woo hoo! Tis the season for firing up the grill :) Well maybe not just yet...this morning I have been brainstorming ideas for a new deck...one where we don't get blown away from the wind here...one where we can sit and eat and actually enjoy the outdoors...I would LOVE to find a plan that incorporates a kids play fort into the deck....that would be SO cool! I can almost see it in my head but can't figure way to make it a visual reality...or draw up plans that Scott could put together with actual building materials.

Today is supposed to be another gorgeous sunny day. Wishing you all a most blessed EASTER! Thank You Jesus for your most precious gift of salvation to us lowly sinners! May God bless You all!

Happy Easter Ya'll!

Good Read

Check out this webpage for a good read on the fruits of the Spirit. Have a blessed day!

Endless Winter

As I sit and type this I am trying not to fall asleep...I think my body is trying to go back into hybernation mode...again. I've been fighting this lethargic blah for months already and now winter is digging back in...sigh

When does it end????

River Rising

The Red and Red Lake River is rising steadily this week. Since they merge just about 1.5 miles from our house we have been watching it with a lot of interest lately.

Fargo is expected to get record flooding and the citizens are calling for volunteers to help in the sand bagging process in hopes of deterring the massive surge that will crest later this week.

There is still a lot of snow melting and the ground is frozen solid ice for 30" below the surface so anything and everything that runs off goes into the rivers.

We got about half and inch of rain here Grand Forks last night on top of that. Some areas got 4-5 inches. We have to look at everything south of us because they are the ones that got the most snow this winter and our Red River flows north...yes north. The only river in America (that we are aware of anyway) that flows north...

What lies just north of us??? Lots of frozen ground and rivers of solid ice...resulting in an iceberg dam. We don't have flood insurance and it takes a month for the premium to go into effect anyway so we have to ride this one out and pray that the levies hold.

PRAISE THE LORD...We made it to FLORIDA!

Our vacation to Florida in review:

Thanks to Dan the weatherman; my inside source of knowledge of all things weather wise I had an inside eye watching over my trip. I took his advice to be on the east side of the storm moving in and boy am I ever thankful now that God put me to work in the National Weather Service...I can appreciate what those guys do a lot more now that's for sure. I left home Sunday afternoon...the skies were blue and there was not a cloud in sight...got to my Mother in Laws in Albany...it was a gorgeous day.

We got up Monday and went shopping in town...had a great time...came back to her house checked in on the weather channel and saw that the storm was moving in and would possibly have roads closed by morning...Interstate 29 from Grand Forks had closed that morning and even schools were closed which is very rare for us. So I booked a hotel in Bloomington about a block away from the airport for Monday night and the kids and I headed out. No sooner did I leave but icy rain started falling behind me; my MIL woke Tues morning to a very slippery driveway.

The kids and I went to the Mall of America for a while on Mon night, had some dinner in our hotel room and then went down to the indoor pool and hot tub and had a great time there. Around 9pm came back up and went to bed...our room was up on the 6th floor and boy they must have been trying to prepare us for Florida because the room had to have been 80+ degrees even with the air turned off and the window cracked open...so it was a very "sultry" night indeed - I rather enjoyed it though ;)

Tues morn we woke up to a dreary day, went to breakfast at the hotel buffet and then came up to hang out in the room for a couple hours...I was starting to get extremely comatose from the sweltering heat in the room so we checked out early and went to Target where we picked up a new backpack for the trip and a few swim things for the pool. Then we headed to the airport to begin our adventure...

We arrived at the gate at exactly 12pm as I had hoped we would...Jared was so so excited and kept telling me to hurry up, hurry up - we will be late! (Our flight departed at 3:15) When we stopped for lunch at Subway he could hardly sit still long enough to eat his sandwich he was in such a rush to get to our gate...we finally made it....with only a couple of hours to spare ;)

The flight from MSP to Memphis was delayed about an hour to de-ice; the weather was getting worse by the minute and I was wondering if I would have to turn around and go home again before I ever got off the ground...but alas twas not so...the plane finally got airborne and we were off!

When we arrived in Memphis it was 80 degrees...aaaaah! Of course it was pretty cold in the airport terminal...but Jared's face was flushed as red as a beet. Oh, I must add that he was an awesome help in the airports helping me with our bags and pushing Jaiden's stroller. I could not have juggled it all without him.

So we arrived in Orlando about 10:30 pm...got our bag...got our rental car and headed off to our hotel with no clue how to get there other than a map sketched out by a kind gentleman at the car rental counter...which was very difficult to read in the dark while going 75 mph down the freeway...my navigator fell asleep on me from sheer exhaustion...poor guy...so I was on my own to find the way. I am still not sure which route I took and I wound up driving around the Disney parks somehow...but I finally made it onto the correct road that my hotel was on and was about to pull into the KFC when I looked up and there it was! Yay! So we checked into the ratty roach motel...it was pretty yuck. I wouldn't recommend it although it served its purpose as a cheep hotel with a bed...

The next morning we took a walk around the hotel and the kids immediately wanted to go swimming...there was not a coffee pot in the hotel room so I wasn't too enthused about this but I let them take a quik morning swim. Heather came down and we met at last; not exactly the meeting that I had imagined since my kids were in two different pools and my attention was not exactly clear yet due to the muddled coffee less state of my mind...so we headed off to breakfast at Denny's...where I swear that the waitress was really intent on hurrying us along for whatever reason...the restaurant was almost empty. She kept asking us over and over where we were going...we hadn't quite figured that out yet and she barely gave us a chance to talk before she was back asking us again.

I hadn't gotten a car seat with the rental car so I went off to Target to purchase one along with some snacks for the kids. We relaxed by the pool for the remainder of the afternoon and then headed off to Hollywood Studios to meet Heather and family for the Fantasia show. The girls had a great time sharing popcorn before the show. The show was awesome and loud and Jaiden wasn't too sure about the witches and the bad guys but loved the river parade of Disney characters at the end.

We picked up KFC on the way back to the hotel and Jared got a chance to play with his new toy; a "string thing" with built in blacklight...he was so happy!

Thursday we went to the Animal Kingdom...got there early; 9am and stayed until 5 when the park closed. We had a GREAT day! This was by far the best of the parks, it was like an enormous zoo with rides. We all enjoyed it immensely.

Friday we went to Flagler Beach to meet the Thomas family for lunch. We ate pizza right by the ocean...it was AWESOME!!! Then we went to the park and hung out for a while until the sun got too intense and we started turning red even with spf on...so we called it a day and took a drive up to St Augustine; a lovely little town but there was too much traffic by the water and Jaiden was asleep so we did not get to go to the beach that day. We had cheeseburgers from the McDonalds in Daytona and halfway through his Jared lost his loose tooth! He was so excited! The tooth fairy came that night and left him ten dollars and seventy six cents! He had just enough to buy a dolphin at Sea World the next day for ten dollars and sixty seven cents.

Sea World Orlando was a great experience. It was a gorgeous day out and the park was not too crowded. We all enjoyed the shows and had fun playing with and feeding the dolphins. Jared won the squirt gun and gave his sister choice of prize...she picked a dolphin almost identical to Jared's. We came back to the hotel and called it an early night in preparation of our trip to Flagler for church the next morning.

We got started around 7 am and headed off to Flagler. It was another gorgeous day. We all had a great time at the Thomas' church and enjoyed meeting some of the church family. Lunch afterwards at Golden Corral was fun and yummmy...I finally got the catfish I've been craving for so long :)

We drove along A1A for a while after lunch and I found a place to park at Ormond Beach and the beach was not too busy so we enjoyed a short walk and gathered quite a few really pretty seashells. Jared enjoyed running into the surf and a chat with an older gentleman that was fishing. We spent the rest of the day lounging at the hotel pool and were just about to head in when everyone started shouting "the rocket is about to lauch" so we stayed and watched that. It was really cool and Jared was ever so excited to see a real rocket launched into space. What a great memory!

Monday our grand fanali was the Magic Kingdom...we were so pooped out that we didn't get up very early and by the time we had done breakfast and made it to the park it was around 10am. The crowds were starting to get thick already. We went through the Swiss Family Robinson tree house (my favorite story) and then we rode the magic carpet ride and then the Johnny Depp...I mean Pirates of the Carribean ride, and then the Jungle Safari. We were not so impressed with Magic Kingdom as we were with Animal Kingdom, whether it was fighting the crowds or just the fact that we were totally exhausted and ready to head home. We called it a day after just 4 hours and lounged by the pool for the remainder of the day.

We loved Florida and getting the opportunity to visit with our friends. It was an adventure we will never forget and a very nice break away from the cold. I am so thankful that we were blessed to make it out ahead of the yucky weather that seemed to follow us all the way to Florida. As Jared said over and over "It never snows in FLORIDA" I feel blessed to have been given this "escape hatch" I know things are tough all over the world right now and everyone is a bit overstressed. I had gotten to the point of not wanting to go through the motions of survival day after day. Florida felt like a different planet from here...a place of great happiness and comfort...the economy was good there...money flows like warm honey in the land of Disney anyway. There may be an over abundance of issues to worry about in the rest of the world but here you can be at peace just soaking in the sun and fresh air. I did not cough a single time there...my cold and congestion returned almost the minute we landed in Minneapolis (go figure!) This week we are busy getting prepared for Scott's retirement ceremony on Friday. The inlaws will be here tonight....lots to do. I know that thanks to the great Florida excape I will survive this and whatever our future holds there is someone much greater than all the world that is looking out for us. We still haven't got the answers but we know who does and we pray for the wisdom and patience to trust in Him.

5 days till Florida!!!

Woo Hooo! I am getting so sited :) Jared is now going with us, I booked his flight yesterday. He is ever so excited too! We are going to have so much fun in the sun!!!
Now what to pack...I can't believe that we will have to pay for checked baggage...at $15 a bag I think I will just be packing one for all three of us. Or should I just buy clothes there and spend the $15 on a bag on the return trip? I am really not sure what to pack and neither the kids nor I have many summery clothing...not much need for them here. It will be interesting to see how the kids react to 80 degrees.

I missed the Florida job by a point...my score was 99. Since there was well over 300 applications submitted for this ONE job they are only sending up the ones that scored 100 for consideration...its a tough market out there.

Update

I haven't updated my blog in a while so I am going to try to catch up quik....before I forget. Its been crazy busy at work getting travel authorizations prepared for lots of travels for the spring flood event, training...etc...plus the gazillion and one other things that I do at any given moment.

Friday morning I got to work and it was -20 degrees, after the emotional week I'd had this was appropriate. A few minutes later I got a call from ICE Immigration and Custom Enforcement in San Antonio saying that I had a job interview at 10...could I make it? Uh..no not in person...I am in NORTH DAKOTA...so I asked if I could do a phone interview...she had to go ask...yes I could do the interview at 10. It went well...the job is Mission Support in property management...I do that..so now I am just waiting for a call back to let me know something...it could be two weeks before I know. This job in Texas is what I have been praying for many many years now.

Meanwhile...I have this spur of the moment trip to Florida to plan for ;) A break from the chaos of my life is just what I need right now...this crab needs to get to the beach quick! But there is a catch....I found a job in Florida....in St Augustine. It is a secretary job...same pay as I am making now...no excessive challenges, just taking care of a boss....sounds great after the two years of wearing a bazillion hats....but the Mission Support job in Texas is also a huge promotion...and its in TEXAS...so why am I now considering Florida as an option? I would have never even thought of Florida before last week....I asked for a window out of here and it seems that God has given me two doors...now which one do I choose? I am hoping to do some soul searching beach walking while in Florida to clear my head and hopefull that the answer will come to me.

How MAJESTIC

I feel the need to share this...even though I just started it on the way to work this morning...and I have only completed the first two and a half lines...its been a truly AMAZING morning...I apologize that this isn't finished but I am being told to not hold it until it is...so here it goes:

Lord
(from the heart of me)

When our world is cover in ice
YOU are the fire that warms us

When storms rage and toss us
YOU are the anchor that holds us

When our bodies are sick and broken
YOU mend our spirit

When I cry out
YOU dry the tears within

(this last line just came to me now as I am writing)

Sunrise and a promise

Yesterday as I arrived at work and was pulling into my parking spot I witnessed a sight I had never seen before...sunrise with a rainbow right beside the sun. It was so beautiful. I have been having a very emotional week so of course this brought me to tears. It was as if God was saying to me "This is not the end, but a beginning to something amazing"

This winter has been especially harsh in more ways than one. We are still uncertain what our future holds and as Scott's retirement date draws ever closer I am getting more and more stressed about finding a job and getting us out of here.

I have been applying for every administrative job I can find but haven't had any success yet. Still praying that perfect job that is meant to be opens up or is one that I've applied for and I will get "the call"

Todays weather forecast:
A powerful storm system continued to move out across the northern plains early this Thursday morning. The most significant snows will be south of the Interstate 94 / U.S. Highway 10 corridor of southeast North Dakota and west central Minnesota. Snow will be heavy at times, with total accumulations from 5 to 12 inches expected in southeast North Dakota into west central Minnesota by this evening, with the highest amounts close to the North and South Dakota border where over 1 foot is possible. Dangerous wind chills from 25 to 30 below are also expected for northeast North Dakota and northwest Minnesota today and tonight. Northerly winds will increase through the day, with blowing and drifting snow expected in the Red River Valley.

Home Improvement?

After spending my entire commute home yesterday in tears, I came home and hit the net...looking for an escape hatch...winter is getting to me big time and I am on the verge on a mental breakdown...and you know what they say "when mamma ain't happy..."

So Jaiden and I are now going to take a little vacation...to FLORIDA!....for 5 days we will be able to get outside and play :) I am so excited about that....I can't hardly breathe here anymore, being cooped up indoors for 5 months and then being sick on top of that...is just misery.

Its still sinking in...after I hit book the trip of course a million doubts crept into my head so I could hardly get to sleep last night. Scott is supportive of this, it was his idea that I take a trip and he made the suggestion months ago...but I didn't want to spend the money with things so uncertain right now...they are still just as uncertain for sure but snapping from the pressure of it all is just not an option...and my mindframe coming home was of escaping the only way that seemed possible at the time...but there is no return ticket for that trip

So finally after months of winter with no end in sight and spending all our free time thinking about upgrades to the house and walking the aisles of the home improvement stores for exercise as much as anything, there is finally light at the end of the tunnel.

So why am I going with just myself and Jaiden? I would LOVE this to be a family vacation but we can't afford air travel for 5 and the boys would be out of school for over a week. Cody just came home with a new job yesterday (YAY Cody!!!) He was hired at Dairy Queen...so that means he will be working and not able to take of for a whole week...Scott is saving his leave to use for terminal leave after retirement...so that just leaves Jaiden and I.

She is so very excited about our trip...I showed her the photo of the hotel and I think the only think I need to pack is her swimsuit...she saw the pool and just about lit up like a Christmas tree...that is what prompted me to hit the submit button...that look on her face was priceless...and she has been talking non stop about "spring" and going outside to play in the sprinkler...and being able to finally wear shorts...because I won't let her wear them in winter...she runs around bare foot most of the time...her flip flops replace her crocs as soon as she gets in the door good every afternoon and they usually never leave her feet until right before walking out the door the next morning...so I think she will love the sandals kinda attitude of Florida.

Our trip is from Mar 10 - Mar 17 and I must get started on an itenerary soon. Right now I do not have a plan to get to the airport yet...we are leaving from MSP. It cost the same to fly from here to MSP as it does from MSP to Orlando...so that is not an option. I will probably drive there but I need to figure out a way to get the car away from the airport as parking costs are astrocious. I am hoping I can find an inlaw willing to make the trip to the airport with me. Its a 5.5 hour drive from here...2 hours from Scott's hometown...so my prayer is that will fall into place and my boss will approve my leave...and my family will not be furious at me for not attending this years family reunion...I hope they will understand...

Sunny Saturday

Its such a beautiful day...the high is supposed to be somewhere around 12 degrees today....feeling a bit like going OUT and doing SOMETHING....what is there to do? Ideas? Anything???? The wind chill is -4....so outside activities are limited.

The kids are going stir crazy...I am too...what oh what is there to do????

SEDENTARY:

It is characterized by sitting or remaining inactive for most of the day (for example, in an office), with little or no exercise. It is believed to be a factor in obesity, and, as such, may contribute to other diseases, such as type II diabetes, heart disease, depression and even hemorrhoids....OH JOY

Lack of exercise causes muscle atrophy, i.e. shrinking and weakening of the muscles and accordingly increases susceptibility to physical injury. Additionally, Physical fitness is correlated with immune system function; a reduction in physical fitness is generally accompanied by a weakening of the immune system....WOULD this could this explain the colds that we have been having? Jaiden and Jared both have colds now too.

Despite the well-known benefits of physical activity, many adults and many children lead a relatively sedentary lifestyle and are not active enough to achieve these health benefits. A sedentary lifestyle is defined as engaging in no leisure-time physical activity (exercises, sports, physically active hobbies) in a 5-week period....or try a 5 MONTH period...this SUCKS...I hate being indoors...being forced to be indoors has to be 10x worse

Snap out of it already

Ok so its been 7 days since I first felt the burning throat and the first tinges of the crud coming on but for golly jeesh after a LONG weekend of nothing but meds and rest you would think that I would have gotten over it by now. I felt better yesterday and returned to work only to start coughing and wheezing again so I am on yet another sick day today...wondering if I am not just 99.9% mentally insane....I do not like being sick and normally a cold doesn't slow me down but this one has floored me. Quite literally to the point where I just stay curled in bed for hours at a time in a comatose state of mind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me, there is no reason at all for the funk that I am in. It is so annoying, to myself, to everyone around me...I just need to snap out of it already.

Give Us This Day

I have been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days...and not a lot of blogging. So I really should put my thoughts on record. So what has been placed on my heart this week? It seems each new week brings a new opportunity or a new interest...I've been applying for jobs everywhere I can find an opening...you will never guess where the lastest opening is that I've found...there is an administrative officer position opening with the Peace Corp. This would be somewhere in the EMA region...(Europe, Mediteranian, and Asia) From reading the job description it sounds like I may actually qualify for this job...the only reason why I would qualify for this job would be because I have been here in the job that I am in for the past two years....the job that I feel I am wasting my time and accomplishing nothing in...the job where some days I ask over and over again...Why am I here?...This job has prepared me for a bigger opportunity. It wasn't a huge roadblock as I've been perceiving it to be all along but rather a stepping stone. Its humbling to see the picture that God has painted for us when He allows us a tiny hint at what could be in our futures...sure it is a job on the other side of the world and not exactly what I had "planned" but it is an opportunity that two years ago I would have run from...today I find myself eager and hopeful that I am chosen. I can't even begin to know what that would mean...but I am eager to learn.

Song of the week: Here I am by Downhere - sorry I haven't been able to find a link to share it, hope you've heard it, its a very powerful song. Many Blessings! Kim



“Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread.”
by Max Lucado

What a statement of trust! Whatever you want me to have is all I want. Some days the plate runs over. God keeps bringing out more food and we keep loosening our belt. A promotion. A privilege. A friendship. A gift. A lifetime of grace. An eternity of joy. There are times when we literally push ourselves back from the table, amazed at God’s kindness. “You serve me a six-course dinner right in front of my enemies. You revive my drooping head; my cup fills with blessing” (Ps. 23:5 MSG).

And then there are those days when, well, when we have to eat our broccoli. Our daily bread could be tears or sorrow or discipline. Our portion may include adversity as well as opportunity.

This verse was on my mind last night during family devotions. I called my daughters to the table and set a plate in front of each. In the center of the table I placed a collection of food: some fruit, some raw vegetables and some Oreo cookies. “Every day,” I explained, “God prepares for us a plate of experiences. What kind of plate do you most enjoy?”

The answer was easy. Sara put three cookies on her plate. Some days are like that, aren’t they? Some days are “three cookie days.” Many are not. Sometimes our plate has nothing but vegetables—twenty-four hours of celery, carrots, and squash. Apparently God knows we need some strength, and though the portion may be hard to swallow, isn’t it for our own good? Most days, however, have a bit of it all. Vegetables, which are healthy but dull. Fruit, which tastes better and we enjoy. And even an Oreo, which does little for our nutrition, but a lot for our attitude.

All are important and all are from God.

The next time your plate has more broccoli than apple pie, remember who prepared the meal. And the next time your plate has a portion you find hard to swallow, talk to God about it. Jesus did. In the garden of Gethsemane his Father handed him a cup of suffering so sour, so vile, that Jesus handed it back to heaven. “My Father,” he prayed, “if it is possible may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matt. 26:39).

Even Jesus was given a portion he found hard to swallow. But with God’s help, he did. And with God’s help, you can too.

Prayers are working...keep them up! and THANK YOU! :)

This is one of my favorite songs. It is an awesome song that fits my mood a lot of days, especially of late. Some days when there are just no words...just peace.

Spring...NOT!!!

After a weekend of warm southernly winds and sunshine, the snow was starting to melt and there are patches of ground showing through in spots...the snow turned soft and slushy...it was ALMOST like spring was actually probable....the 40 degree temps actually felt pretty WARM...but the north wind started to blow a gusty 60 mph....and this morning we are back to -11 and wind chill of -25...so spring...IT AIN'T HAPPENING :(

As anyone who knows me will know - this is like the movie - winter just keeps going and going and going - like a nightmare that I can't seem to wake up from...

Happy Chinese New Year - from a Boar!

I couldn't resist pulling up my Chinese New Year Horoscope this morning...It almost brought me to tears when I read it... I really must go get ready for work now and stop procrastinating

Pig Overview
The Pig has many opportunities to shine this year. Your generous nature is apparent in all aspects of your life. It is an admired quality that people respect. This year, your inherent generosity plays a large role in areas that you may not even be aware and may pave the way to a possible career change. You have an abundance of friends and you are well loved by your family. this year will only enhance these relations. One area that may create some issues is that you seem to overextend yourself to a point where there isn't any time left for you. This could lead to a change in priorities and could promote some better organizational skills.

Pig Rating
53% (2 favorable 9 neutral and 1 unfavorable month)

Pig Career
The Pig may feel complacency in your current job position. This could be a year that you may need a change towards something that is more suitable for your needs. You may gravitate towards something that is more of a position that provides service to others, perhaps a non-profit organization or a customer service based position. Your busy schedule will also play a part in your work. You may be forced to choose between certain activities, as there are only seven, not eight days in a week. Whatever the course may be for your career, you will fit in well with your endearing personality.

Pig Relationships
Personally, 2009 will be a year that the Pig will enjoy much happiness. Both your social and domestic life will be endearing to you, providing you with encouragement and advice. Your family and friends will be the source of many memorable occasions this year. For the unattached Pig, there will be some romantic opportunities. Be careful who you let into your circle, as you tend to give others too much credit. July is a particularly favorable month for all Pigs.

Pig Health
The Pig would do well to watch your health this year. There may be an unforeseen incident that arises sometime during the year, most likely in late April or early May. This may cause you to look at your habits relating to your health. One area in particular is your diet. This year could provide a change in your eating habits, which could help other areas of your health.

Pig Wealth
There may be times this year when you are uncertain about your financial future, but there are things in your life that take precedence over money. You will be taken care of, but there may be times of financial uncertainty. A change will come in the second half of the year that will provide greater financial comfort and allow you to live at a means that is more accustomed to your liking. Be patient, as the change will come.

Heart Song

This song has been running through my heart for a while. I don't know where we will find ourselves at next but I know that God knows and this gives me great comfort. I read something this morning from my Grace for the Moment Devotional that struck a chord and rings so true to my heart....

"My kingdom does not belong to this world. John 18:36" Unhappiness on earth cultivates a hunger for heaven. By gracing us with a deep dissatisfaction, God holds our attention. The only tragedy, then, is to be satisfied prematurely. To settle for earth. To be content in a strange land....We are not happy here because we are not at home here. We are not happy here because we are not supposed to be happy here. We are "like foreigners and strangers in this world"(1 Peter 2:11)...And you will never be completely happy on earth simply because you were not made for earth. Oh, you will have your moments of joy. You will catch glimpses of light. You will know moments or even days of peace. But they simply do not compare with the happiness that lies ahead. When God Whispers Your Name

...and today's devotional A HEART LIKE HIS
"we are like clay and you are the potter; your hands made us all." Isaiah 64:8
God wants us to be just like Jesus. Isn't that good news? You aren't stuck with today's personality. You aren't condemned to "grumpydom" You are tweakable. Even if you've worried each day of your life, you needn't worry the rest of your life. So what if you were born a bigot? You don't have to die one. Where did we get the idea that we can't change? From whence come statements such as, "It's just my nature to worry" or, "I'll always be pessimistic. I'm just that way."...Who says? Would we make similar statements about our bodies? "It's just my nature to have a broken leg. I can't do anything about it." Of course not. If our bodies malfunction, we seek help. Shouldn't we do the same with our hearts? Shouldn't we seek aid for our sour attitudes? Can't we request treatment for our selfish tirades? Of course we can. Jesus can change our hearts. He wants us to have a heart like his. Just Like Jesus

In GOD We Trust, All others we monitor

I am an optimist (most of the time) but today is a sad day for me. Its hard to watch an end of an era come without some reflection on the past. GW has been our faithful leader since he became Govenor of Texas in 1994. 15 years of leadership under his wing. I wish him and Lady Laura all the very best in their new Texas home. I hope he left Washington with a sense of peace. I hope he leaves with his sense of self intact and his faith as his guide. The same smiling faces that greeted him coming in 8 years ago are now greeting a new President and a new era is beginning. Will a difference be made? GW had such great hope for our nation and look where we are now. And all because of greed and selfishness. Where are we headed as a nation? Only God knows. If this is the beginning to the end we all know how that story plays out. It is a promise worth more than anything. It is hope. Hope trumps fear on any day, in any place, at any time. May God Bless America Always.

YO-YO of emotions

Yesterday I should have known something was up when I was in a really really good mood on the way to work. It was an off feeling after a week of being in the blahs. I just felt HAPPY like everything was going to be OK....no matter what. Well by midafternoon I felt like the tide was starting to turn and my emotional outlook was boiling....turbulent and restless would describe it very nicely. My dear sweet hubs was caught right in the brunt of my emotional distress and didn't know what was going on. We took a midafternoon jaunt to Lowe's after dropping the SUV off at the dealership to repair a broken hinge on the back window. We were planning on purchasing knobs for our kitchen cabinet...we even got so far as picking out some really nice one and counting them out...then I had a major meltdown when we figured up the cost. While $90 may not seem much it suddenly hit me that every bit and piece we are putting into our house is just another chunk of our savings that we are giving away. We are going to be LUCKY if we can give our house away. It is an "investment" that went bad...way bad.

We have been thinking about the future and what the next few months will bring. Scott will retire on March 20th and then we embark upon a new life. A whole new life in the midst of a recession. The dream of moving to Texas has pretty much been shot down. I've come to the realization that my mom needs me closer so after 20 years of being away I am finally making the effort to move closer but we are finding that even that may not be possible. Finding jobs and an affordable house in Arkansas is turning out to be a lot more difficult than we ever dreamed.

So what happens now? Where do we go from here? We can't live here on one income and we can't move with zero income. The job market here is not all that great either but at least I am still working so that is something to be thankful for. We may have to stay here longer than we had ever hoped and that is something I am trying to figure out how to be thankful for. We are now two years into a 5 year ARM loan and we have one year to move and have it paid for by the AF. After August Cody will be starting his senior year...our window of opportunity to move away from here shrinks more and more every day.

So am I a bit out of whack or what???

SubZERO?

Sure we have been experiencing some serious cold this week...with temps somewhere around -44 with wind chill. Why that just means we are a ginormic gourmet refrigerator! With winters that last somewhere around 7 months the residents here never get old...just well preserved! :)

Chatter from the North (will post translation on Friday)

Oop Nort Dere

This should take you a minute or two!!!!!If you can read this, you are a TRUE MINNESOOTIN!*

Ven Two Minnesootins Meet Oop Nort On Da Lake Fichen!

Haydair

Lobuddy

Benearlong?

Coplhours

Crieps, cetchenenny?

Yepgoddafew

Vairdayittn?

Oberdair

Kindarday?

Valleyeennordern

Ennysiztooum?

Cuplapowns

Oofda, ittenard?

Yepsordalike

Vahchaoozindalindyrik?

Ohyeahdonchano

Fichenondaboddum?

Rydoopneardaboddum

Howdeeperya?

Bouttvenyfeet

Oh, Vachadrinkin?

Hadacouplabeers

Velligoddago

Tubad

Seeyaround

Yeahtakideeze

Guluk

Yoobetcha

Da Ent!!!

If you can't read this, translation can be supplied by Opp Nort

REAL e?

SAD?

"Sorry, but I'm suffering from a biochemical imbalance of my hypothalamus triggered by a melatonin deficiency in my pineal gland."

When the days start getting shorter and colder, and the nights longer and darker, many people start to suffer from winter depression, or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD.) We outline some strategies for dealing with those winter blues.
Cheer up, you have a recognized medical condition: It might seems like curious advice, but for many sufferers the effects of SAD are greatly exacerbated by the fact that they just can't understand why they feel so darned miserable, and blame themselves for their grumpiness rather than a genuine mood disorder.
Thanks, however, to the pioneering work of U.S. doctor Norman E. Rosenthal -- who coined the term SAD in 1984 -- it is now widely acknowledged that winter depression has a sound medical basis, involving changes in the body's mood centers brought on by shorter daylight hours and a lack of sunlight.
If anyone accuses you of being a surly misanthrope between the months of November to February, you can justify yourself with words to the effect of: "Sorry, but I'm suffering from a biochemical imbalance of my hypothalamus triggered by a melatonin deficiency in my pineal gland. So get off my back!"
Cheer up even more, you're one of many. One of the worst aspects of any form of depressive illness is the sense of utter isolation and loneliness it induces.
There is thus some comfort to be drawn by SAD sufferers from the fact that you are surrounded by people who feel equally grouchy and nihilistic around this time of year. In the UK, according to the SAD Association, 500,000 people experience some form of winter depression, while in Sweden doctors have estimated that 20 percent of the population -- almost 2 million people -- are affected. One of the earliest descriptions of SAD comes from the Sixth Century chronicler Jordanes who, in his Origin and Deeds of the Goths, describes the excessively gloomy winter disposition of the inhabitants of Scandza, or Scandanavia.
Get more light: Without doubt the most effective clinically proven remedy for SAD is "light therapy," which has been shown to benefit some 80-85 percent of cases. Simple as it sounds this actually involves rather more than just turning on a light and sitting beside it for a while twiddling your thumbs as renewed cheer inexorably suffuses your being.
The average domestic or office light emits a paltry 200-500 lux (a lux is a unit of illuminance,) whereas a minimum of 2,500 lux is required to alleviate the symptoms of SAD. For the record, a clear summer's day can reach an intensity of 100,000 lux.
Fortunately, specially designed light boxes have been developed that emit precisely the right amount of illumination. These can be bought from specialist retailers and, at their most basic, cost around $190 (£100.) By sitting in front of one for a certain period each day -- 30 minutes to several hours, depending on the severity of your conditions -- symptoms gradually subside. Sadly, though, you won't be left with a suntan.
Try drugs or therapy: While greater light exposure is far and away the best treatment for SAD, addressing as it does root causes rather than just symptoms, both anti-depressant drugs and psychotherapy have also proved helpful to sufferers, especially those with especially severe symptoms. If you wish to go down this route you should seek advice from a medical professional, or else contact one of the many SAD support organizations that exist around the world (type Seasonal Affective Disorder help into an Internet search engine for an exhaustive list of such organizations.)
Move south (or north) for the winter: This may or may not be practical, depending on your circumstances, but studies have shown that the incidence of SAD increases dramatically the further north, or south, you go from 30 degrees of latitude. The condition is virtually unheard of in the Tropics, on the other hand, and it therefore stands to reason that a move to anywhere in the vicinity of the Equator for the duration of the winter should go a long way towards improving your mood (although whether three months in Mogadishu will completely cure you of the blues is uncertain.)
Watch Lawrence of Arabia, over and over again: Unlikely as it sounds, research has shown that winter depressives who watch films featuring warm, sunny, summery climates show demonstrable improvements in mood. Anything with clear blue cloudless skies, palm trees and an absence of snow ploughs should do, although with its endless shimmering desert vistas and eye-watering three and a half hour running time, David Lean's 1962 epic Lawrence of Arabia probably offers the most intensive movie therapy available.
Watching cricket or golf can, apparently, have the same mood-enhancing effect. Over-exposure to snooker, darts and indoor bowling on the other hand, has been known to bring on a state of depressive, trance-like catatonia that, in severe cases, culminates in complete mental breakdown.

ND Winter Humor

True Meaning of Temperatures in North Dakota

60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in North
Dakota plant gardens.

(I planted pansies and johnny jump ups on Saturday - it was somewhere around zero out)
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in
North Dakota sunbathe.
40 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in
North Dakota drive with the windows down.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in North
Dakota gets thicker.
20 above zero: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves,
wool hats. People in North Dakota throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in North Dakota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero: ; People in Miami all die. People in North Dakota
close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico People in North
Dakota get out their winter coats.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in North
Dakota are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in
North Dakota let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. North Dakotan's
get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin
scale.) People in North Dakota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. North Dakota public schools will
open 2 hours late.

Tagged

I was tagged by Dusty the other day to post the fourth photo from the fourth album on my computer. I have put all my photos onto an external notebook so this is one from way back. It is Christmas 1996 and we are at Scott's Mom and Dad's house in Albany. This is one of our rare Christmases spent with Mike and Sarah. I think they were passing through Minnesota that year for a visit to their Mom's sister.

Yes, for all ya'll out there that didn't know - Scott had two kids and was still married when I met him. (We were well into our relationship before I knew this) He got married in the Phillipines. We met in San Antonio in 1992.

We rarely see them at all now. Mike now lives in Wisconsin and Sarah lives in Missouri with her Mom. There are a lot of history that I could share but this is not the time or place. If your curious just ask.

Total ICE-solation

Today marks the second year of our arrival to Grand Forks. That memory is burned into my memory for life. We left Albany that morning to temps in the mid 30s, as we drove the 3.5 hours to Grand Forks we watched as the temp gauge on the SUV progressively dropped into the sub zero range. The kids and I had never experienced sub zero before so when we arrived in Grand Forks, opened the car door and received our first icy blast of north wind it literally took our breath away. It felt like a knife stabbing into our lungs.

Today as I reflect back over the past two years I still have that same feeling of total isolation that we felt when we arrived. Who in their right minds would live here on this tundra of frigid northern valley? What were we thinking to come here?

I have never felt so alone in my life as I do here. My family is far far away and we only see Scott's family when we go visit them or their very rare visits here. Last time they came here was October. No one wants to come here in winter. No one wants to be here in winter. But those that can't get away are stuck here until spring thaw...whenever that may be. As I sit here looking out my window at the 5 ft snow drift outside the window I wonder just what spring is going to be like. They are predicting floods similar to that of the big one in 97' We still have months of snowfall ahead of us before spring comes. The snow so far has come from the west; it is dry and fluffy. The heavy snow comes when there is a storm from the south. So the guys that I work with are saying we haven't seen anything yet. The icy blast coming down next week is something the guys I work with have never seen here before. I think they always overdramatize things a bit but the last few storms they have actually been pretty accurate on so I don't plan on any outside activities in the upcoming week. With that said, Scott is helping his brother Joel this weekend to put siding on the outside of his sunporch. He needs it completed before he can refinance his house. Its a great time to refinance but I don't see paying a $4000 closing cost just to lower my interest rate a percent or two a huge savings. I cannot see why it costs so much to change paperwork. I deal with finacial paperwork all day every day and I know it can be done. Between you and me I think America is getting scammed. The American dream is dead and our futures are an uncertain abyss. I am just full of optimism and cheer today aren't I? Just rambling my thoughts and putting them on record. Thats the way it rolls. Peace out!

Survival Mode

Well, its official. The winter blahs have set in. Its a long time till spring and I am already getting that cooped up feeling and all I want to do is hibernate the winter away. If I could just sleep till spring I would be totally happy...but I have to get up each day and go to work at the NWS and hear yet again how cold it is and how cold it is going to be...it is one thing to feel it in your bones but to sit and hear it ALL DAY is just about to drive me crazy. We are supposed to have a record breaking cold front come through next week...So if I lose it and start to ramble on about crazy things at random just chalk it up to winter taking yet another victim. I don't mean to be negative but this is how it rolls. Happy Winter Ya'll!

Tell me WHY...

Now tell me...do these look like the faces of criminals to you? They even came wrapped in the smell of sweetness and baby powder...

But now check out the bondage that they had to been unleashed from before they could be given the much deserved hugs and cuddles that they require

Now tell me...what child age 2 and up other than baby hudini himself can unleash these sweet babes from their packaging??? Nada...it takes Mom and Dad and some pliers and much perserverence to get the multiple layers of bondage from around their sweet little necks and feet...this is just wrong. Wrong I tell you. These kids are under tighter security than most national prisons. Why??? Why are these toys being subjected to such unjust and cruel punishment...not to mention the cruelty to parents that have to release them from their prisons before they can truly become a gift worthy of giving.