Yesterday I should have known something was up when I was in a really really good mood on the way to work. It was an off feeling after a week of being in the blahs. I just felt HAPPY like everything was going to be OK....no matter what. Well by midafternoon I felt like the tide was starting to turn and my emotional outlook was boiling....turbulent and restless would describe it very nicely. My dear sweet hubs was caught right in the brunt of my emotional distress and didn't know what was going on. We took a midafternoon jaunt to Lowe's after dropping the SUV off at the dealership to repair a broken hinge on the back window. We were planning on purchasing knobs for our kitchen cabinet...we even got so far as picking out some really nice one and counting them out...then I had a major meltdown when we figured up the cost. While $90 may not seem much it suddenly hit me that every bit and piece we are putting into our house is just another chunk of our savings that we are giving away. We are going to be LUCKY if we can give our house away. It is an "investment" that went bad...way bad.
We have been thinking about the future and what the next few months will bring. Scott will retire on March 20th and then we embark upon a new life. A whole new life in the midst of a recession. The dream of moving to Texas has pretty much been shot down. I've come to the realization that my mom needs me closer so after 20 years of being away I am finally making the effort to move closer but we are finding that even that may not be possible. Finding jobs and an affordable house in Arkansas is turning out to be a lot more difficult than we ever dreamed.
So what happens now? Where do we go from here? We can't live here on one income and we can't move with zero income. The job market here is not all that great either but at least I am still working so that is something to be thankful for. We may have to stay here longer than we had ever hoped and that is something I am trying to figure out how to be thankful for. We are now two years into a 5 year ARM loan and we have one year to move and have it paid for by the AF. After August Cody will be starting his senior year...our window of opportunity to move away from here shrinks more and more every day.
So am I a bit out of whack or what???
7 comments:
Kim ~ That is so HARD. My dad's last duty station was in the DC metro area, so they escaped this, but we know so many people in the same boat. Lots of major decisions. And lots of challenges. I'll pray for y'all in the coming months.
Thank You!!! I apologize for whining, I have so much to be grateful for. This has just been a really rough week and I feel so alone.
That is such a tough spot to be in, and I don't know what the answers are. Just know I'm praying for you. (((((Hugs)))))
Thank You for your prayers. We got an out of the blue invitation to go to dinner with our friends and neighbors last night to the Blue Moose. It was a fun time of friendship fellowship :)
they called while I was applying for an admin job with the FBI...in Phoenix
Oh Kim, it's not a wonder you are feeling all up and down and twist turned around! not only dealing with the weather, which has been awful enough, but with so many decisions left to face... girl, whine all you need to! I know I would be. My prayers continue to be with you.
Oh sweetie. I can totally understand. I want to leave this frozen tundra too but Dave loves his job and even if he didn't we're stuck in our house as well. The market here is awful. Call if you need a break or wanna get out (with or without kids). Hugs.
Oh sweet girl, you are in my prayers. I'm a firm believer the Lord has a plan....you just don't know what that is yet!! It will all work out in His time!
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